Wednesday, September 26, 2012

You Can Do It Too!

Who wants to exercise? Who wants to give up fast food for fruit? Anyone feel like spending hours at the gym or at a sports practice? That doesn't sound too appealing but let's think about it in another light. Who wants to be healthy and feel good about themselves? Who wants to eat satisfying food instead of empty carbs? Anyone feel like making a ton of new friends by joining a sports team? Before high school I didn't exercise much, except for soccer once, maybe twice a week. I ate as much junk food and pizza as anyone. Then, in 7th or 8th grade, mostly thanks to the work of Michelle Obama, I started to learn about the epidemic of obesity across America. I didn't categorize myself as a fat American and I thought that obesity would only reach those people who ate in McDonald's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and worked the remote control instead of something productive. Well, I was wrong. Anyone can reach the state of obesity and 1/3 of Americans are. An outrageous 2/3 are overweight. These numbers are incredibly high and something has to change. To avoid slipping into a rut that is so hard to get out of I joined a soccer team, became a vegetarian, and tried to go out with my friends or do something productive instead of sitting in front of the TV. I don't miss watching 3 TV shows a night and I met some of my closest friends through soccer. Simple changes can make the difference and you'll even be happier. Maybe you aren't the most athletic person in the world. Instead, go for a run or even a walk a few times a week and take the stairs instead of the elevator. Get some of your friends to make a lifestyle change with you! Instead of getting a large slushy and popcorn drowned in butter at the movie theater, get a water and skip the salt and butter on the popcorn. Being a healthy person is like being a good student. You can settle for being an average student and blending with a majority, but you'll be more satisfied if you put in the extra effort and get that A instead of the B-. Wouldn't the reward of having better stamina, more energy, and a healthier glow be just as great, once you give up the extra dessert and skip the 4th hour in front of the computer to go for a jog with your friends? Don't you want to prove to the rest of the world that America isn't just loud, fat people?

3 comments:

  1. I felt so motived reading this, oh my gosh! I think you had one of the only blogs that connected mostly to personal experience. I really loved the way you had just enough logos and ethos to balance the argument of your social issue. I truly felt convinced once I finished reading the passage. Again, I think the personal experience that you slipped into your paragraph really sold it. I really felt like you were talking to me and actually convincing me. You took a new spin on a really prevalent topic, and I admire that. Good job, and I hope to read more!

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  2. Laura, I thought your ability to establish ethos in this blog was amazing! Like Alexandra said, adding your personal experience made me truly trust in what you were saying. I also really like your analogy towards the end of the blog. Thinking about being healthy in terms of being a good student made a lot of logical sense in my head. You did a good job slipping in some facts and adding logos into your writing without being boring and spewing facts for 500 words. Overall, great job!

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  3. Laura, I agree with Alex and Nicole that you strike a nice inspirational tone. You certainly have a generous blend of ethos, pathos, and logos, which is interesting and generally effective.

    What could help this post be even better is thinking about the structure of it. Go ahead and add paragraphs to your blogs--so far, you tend to lump everything together, which seems to imply you've got one idea, one point. In truth, your arguments are more sophisticated than that, so the structure needs to reflect that complexity of thought and strategy. Creating those paragraphs is also going to help you identify some leaps in logic and some missing transitions...such as your transition from the idea of 2/3 of Americans being overweight to a quick push to fix the problem. Paragraphs may help you recognize the need for some address of the problem--who cares if 2/3 of us is overweight?

    So, you're thinking is on the right track, and you are clearly using the appeals consciously. Now start thinking more about the writing itself.

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